Am I Dead on the Inside?

Paralyzed
I can't move
I can't think
What just happened
I'm gonna faint
My life just slipped out of my hands
Where did he go
Where am I
Am I dead on the inside?

My room whirls around me
Life is spinning
I need control
But I can't have it
Did my friend really die
Just like that
Or am I still at the nightclub
Dancing
I'm lying on the bathroom floor
Am I dead on the inside?

I still need to do the laundry
Still need to feed the dogs
What the heck!
I skipped four meals
But who really cares
I lost a friend
I can't even laugh or cry
Am I dead on the inside?

Friends desperately try to comfort me
They can't
All I hear are the last words he said
"Marry me"
I can only think of my life
What just happened
Am I dead on the inside?

There's a painful lump in my throat
Hot tears start to leak
My whole body sprawls and shakes as I let out the first sound in days
An agonizing scream
Pure terror pulses throughout my body
And I know it's time to be alive

Upside Down

It's three weeks after summer
You're life's turned upside down
Not at all how you expected
You're the most hated in town

Three days ago you cheated
You've lied to your best friend
You don't know why it's happening
You want your life to end

You're in trouble with the law
Suspended from your school
It seems like just last week
When you were actually cool

Three melt downs in an hour
Don't know why you're turning bad
Is it the pressure from the school year
That's making you go mad

Throwing things across the room
Randomly crushing glass
People wondering why you're like this
It's like you're holding in a secret, a big and heavy mass

You've become Goth
You've put homes on fire
You hate the world, can't let it out
You never seem to tire

You're a rebel overwhelmed
You wanna use a knife
Cuz ya really hate yourself
And ugh, you hate life