Am I Dead on the Inside?

Paralyzed
I can't move
I can't think
What just happened
I'm gonna faint
My life just slipped out of my hands
Where did he go
Where am I
Am I dead on the inside?

My room whirls around me
Life is spinning
I need control
But I can't have it
Did my friend really die
Just like that
Or am I still at the nightclub
Dancing
I'm lying on the bathroom floor
Am I dead on the inside?

I still need to do the laundry
Still need to feed the dogs
What the heck!
I skipped four meals
But who really cares
I lost a friend
I can't even laugh or cry
Am I dead on the inside?

Friends desperately try to comfort me
They can't
All I hear are the last words he said
"Marry me"
I can only think of my life
What just happened
Am I dead on the inside?

There's a painful lump in my throat
Hot tears start to leak
My whole body sprawls and shakes as I let out the first sound in days
An agonizing scream
Pure terror pulses throughout my body
And I know it's time to be alive